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25 April 2011 @ 11:54 pm
Three Firefly Fics: River Is Scary; Jayne And River Are Both Scary; Jayne And River Discuss Jiggling  
Three character pieces I wrote to get a handle on Jayne and River interacting before I wrote Acceptable (for Write for Relief). They're gen stories, one serious and two funny. Hope I raise a smile :)

River Is Scary
(PG13, 151 words)


The others are scared of River sometimes. She's heard them think it, how she can take down anyone and everyone in her path and how she brought slaughter to the Reavers as if she was teaching them the meaning of the word. She's scarier still because she doesn't look like she could, the danger of her concealed.

She thought Jayne wouldn't be afraid. Jayne likes weapons and Jayne likes girls, so it was logical to think he wouldn't mind a girl-weapon.

She doesn't always live with logic though and that's the problem.

Jayne is used to being hurt and people taking advantage when his guard is down. He didn't see it coming when she cut him, but he sees it now and what's known isn't feared. What he isn't used to is hurt without reason (or reason apparent to him).

Jayne isn't scared of weapons. It's the crazy that bugs him.


Jayne And River Are Both Scary
(PG13, 632 words)


River stands with her hands held neatly behind her back, rising up onto her toes and dropping back down again, over and over, as she watches Jayne threatening a man. He's not a very nice man, she can see it dancing around his head and away into hers, and he owes them money.

"Captain told you: we do the job and we get paid."

Jayne shoves the man in the chest with the business end of his favourite gun, making him stumble back against the alley wall.

"I'm not afraid of the likes of you!"

"Yeah?" Jayne aims Vera at the man's head. "Want to give us our money anyway? Seein' as it's ours and all."

"Yours? You only get paid for a job if you do it properly, Cobb."

"Folk were shootin' at us. Makes it a mite difficult, dŏng ma?"

"Difficult? For you, maybe."

Jayne releases the safety catch and River can see the fear streaking out of their captive. She can smell it too, cutting sharply through all the other smells: urine and faeces (both animal and human), cat hair, vomit, stale food, and a hint of clean dirt.

"Besides, I don't carry that kind of money with me. If you shoot me you then I won't be able to tell you where it is and you won't get anything."

"It'd make me feel better," says Jayne.

"The Captain wouldn't like it," River reminds him.

Jayne settles fully into a shooting stance anyway and breathes out as he slowly squeezes the trigger by a hair's breadth.

"I told you," says the man, the pitch of his voice soaring upwards. "If you kill me you won’t get anything! Anything!"

"An' if you don't tell us where you've stashed our pay we get nothin'. Leastways if I kill you I'll get somethin' out of this gorram deal."

Jayne pauses. The man doesn't respond, just stands there with his knees liquidating. Jayne squeezes the trigger just a fraction more. Then he stops.

The man's knees give way and he slides down the wall.

"I knew it. I knew you wouldn't just kill me without the pay. I knew it."

"Yeah, yeah. Not that there ain't plenty we can do without killin'." Jayne lowers Vera slightly, still keeping her pointed at the man, and turns to look at River. "Do something creepy."

The man turns his head to look at River too. He hasn't bothered to look at her properly before and River can see that he doesn't know why he's bothering now. She rises back up onto toes and back down again one last time before staring back at him.

She makes her eyes wide and tells him, "The very large man with the very large gun thinks that I'm creepy. And scary. Terrifying."

He looks at Jayne. He looks back at her. He makes a puddle on the alley floor.

"You're leaking," says River. She tilts her head to one side. "We didn't make you leak though, not yet. Cut you first. Tear ducts sliced and spill open. Corners of the mouth pulled apart and saliva exposed. Blood is boring. The human body is mostly made of water, easier for leaking and drowning, although that does include blood."

The man starts whimpering. Somewhere within the noise he provides directions to the money that he owes them.

"Right," says Jayne. "Thanks."

Then he shoots the man, once, in the foot.

"Captain was right," says Jayne, holstering Vera. "Me bringin' you. Speeds things up."

"You were also suitably scary."

Jayne grins at her as they leave the alley behind.

"Simon said there was beer after."

"Yeah," says Jayne. "Simon said he knew there was beer after and on no account were you havin' any."

"I am a scary person."

"Still ain't gettin' beer."


Jayne And River Discuss Jiggling
(PG13, 260 words)


"They jiggle."

"What?"

Jayne's eyes slide off the huge tits of a woman sitting on the porch of the whorehouse across the street to settle on River's face. She's frowning, which don't bode well. (River that is, not the whore, although any woman frowning never bodes well.)

"They jiggle. Get in the way. No use for fighting and not practical."

Jayne snorts.

"I like that one better." She points. "Talented tongue."

"An' you know that how?"

River gives him 'the boob look'.

Jayne gets the boob look a lot. He's proud to say he doesn't get it as often as Simon or Mal though.

"Not meant to be readin' folks like that," he tells her, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. "Ain't right."

"Lots of things folks meant not to do, but they do." She glares at him. "You were looking."

"Yeah, at the bits on display." Jayne scratches his ear and says, "Look, if folks don't mind you lookin' at somethin' they put it on display or they tell you to go ahead and be all eyes. If folks wanted their brains lookin' at they'd go to a psycho-what'sit-"

"Psychotherapist. Psychologist. Psychoanalyst."

"Right. A brain person."

River tilts her head to one side.

"What if they're thinking really, really loud?"

"Well," says Jayne, letting his eyes wonder back across the street, "sometimes you can't help lookin' but that don't mean you show it or do anythin' about it."

River giggles and it's Jayne's turn to frown.

"Now what?"

"Jayne is talking about being polite."

"Shut up."
 
 
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