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14 September 2011 @ 12:45 pm
Fic: The Impossible Amy Pond  
I finally got around to updating my stories on fanfiction.net and I hadn't realised how many I'd posted on livejournal but never over there. If people look at the date stories are published it's going to look like I had one hell of a productive writing day!

The Girl Who Waited is still stuck in my head, so more fanfic today with spoilers for that episode of Dr Who, 6.10.

Title: The Impossible Amy Pond
Rating/Warnings: PG13
Length: 515 words
Summary: Amy knows that the Doctor lies. She’s always known it.


The Impossible Amy Pond


She knows that the Doctor lies. She’s always known it.

She knows when she presses her hand against a glass panel on the door of the TARDIS and feels the vibrations of a time machine struggling to cope with the paradox of her. The Impossible Amy Pond.

She knows when Rory picks her up – the younger her – and runs, leaving her behind. The moment when the door shuts behind them, she knows.

She knows when she appears before herself, a mirror image dancing the Macarena and thinking of the same first kiss, the same moment in time but closer for the her in the mirror, the her without the lines, the flaws, and the hate.

She knows when she strikes the last bargain of her life.

She knows when she’s persuaded to do the impossible, for a boy, because he’s Rory and she’s Amy and yes she can.

She knows when she sees him, that boy from so long ago. That boy that she ended a world for and created a world for and married. That boy who makes her laugh.

She knows when it’s silent and she’s alone watching the lines of time creeping across her face. Still waiting, but only because that’s her existence and not because she has any hope left that someone will actually come.

She knows when she finally cracks the interface and can make it do as she asks, but not everything that she asks is within its power and she’s still waiting.

She knows when she draws a face on the handbot that she neutralises for company and the only face that she can remember clearly is Rory’s.

She knows when she’s forgotten how to laugh and there’s no one to remind her, when she’s changed so much that if a TARDIS appeared, with all its possibilities of time and space, all she would ask for is to go home.

She knows when she makes her own sonic screwdriver and calls it by a different name.

She knows when disabling handbots has become a routine part of her life and nothing here is alien to her anymore.

She knows when she finds herself always searching for weapons and never for food, because she needs one and not the other. The sword she takes from a gym facility becomes an extension of her arm more than a paintbrush ever was.

She knows when she scrawls a message and an arrow in bright colour across the doors of her hiding place, brightly begging to be noticed and not forgotten.

She knows when she steps through that sliding door, when she goes where they don’t follow, and she asks to be saved.

She’s known for a long time that the Doctor lies, since she first met him and he promised to come back, but then it was twelve years after fish custard and that doesn’t count, that wasn’t five minutes, and she waited. Amy Pond, the girl who waited.

She’s always known; she’s just never let herself really believe it.

The Doctor lies and he doesn’t come back. Not for her.
 
 
feeling: embarrassedembarrassed