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25 August 2012 @ 09:15 pm
Fic: Five People That Tony Stark Never Made A Suit For (And One He Did)  
Hello all the new people on my f-list! I have an introductory sticky post thing and feel free to ask me anything any time. For now, have some fic! I’ve been messing around with this one on and off just for fun whilst working on other things and I figure making new friends should be fun, so, hopefully, this is something fun to say ‘hi’ :)

Title: Five People That Tony Stark Never Made A Suit For (And One He Did)
Rating/Warning: PG13; mild swearing
Length: 1,940 words
Summary: What it says in the title and just for some multi-fandom fun.


Five People That Tony Stark Never Made A Suit For



1. Colin Creevey

When Colin opens the door the man waiting outside, who seems incapable of taking his finger off the doorbell, is saying to someone on his mobile phone, “Look, I hate magic, okay?”

Colin casually slips a hand inside his pocket, the one that has a hole at the bottom for easy access to the wand in his thigh holster.

“Tony Stark,” the man says, ending his call abruptly and putting the phone away.

“Stark,” Colin repeats. “Oh, the company with the crap timers.”

“Excuse me?” Stark slides his sunglasses down his nose so that Colin can see his raised eyebrows. “Stark Industries does not make ‘crap’. Just because I’m hating on magic does not mean you need to hate on my tech, thank you oh so much. And crap timers for what?”

“Cameras,” says Colin. “The timers on Stark cameras are inaccurate.”

“Fine. I’ll make a note.”

He steps forward, moving to enter the apartment, but Colin blocks his way whilst smiling politely.

“I’m sorry, was there something that you wanted?”

Stark removes the sunglasses with a sigh, tucking them in the top pocket of his suit jacket.

“Let’s try this again, shall we? Tony Stark, as in Iron Man, and I am fed up of my highly technically advanced suit being magicked into uselessness and I hear you’re the go-to guy in these parts for people who want magical solutions that can coexist with tech.”

“Oh.” Colin tries, and suspects that he fails, to hide his excitement at the thought of working on a project like that. “Well, there are limits to what I can and will do.”

“I can appreciate that,” Stark replies and Colin lets him in.


2. Hoban Washburne

“If they made one of these just for flying and not for fighting…”

“Unfortunate side effect of wearing one is that the fighting tends to come to you,” says Tony Stark, coming up behind him as Wash admires the Iron Man Mark VIII suit.

“I’m not really a fighter,” says Wash, shrugging.

“Maybe, but I’ve seen you fly.” Stark shoves his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “I’d build you a suit just to see what you’d do with it.”

“Seriously?” says Wash. “Shouldn’t you check that I’m not an axe murderer or a clown or something equally horrendous before making me an offer like that?”

The other man smirks.

“You’ve been piloting for SHIELD. Are you suggesting that their hiring practises are suspect? ‘Cause I can totally look into that. I should look into that. It’d be hilarious.”

“There were no ticky boxes for ‘axe murderer’ or ‘clown’ on my intake form,” Wash tells him. “It’s definitely an oversight.”

“And yet there is one for ‘god’,” says Stark, slinging an arm around Wash’s shoulders companionably. “True fact.”

“Funnily enough I didn’t tick that one,” says Wash with a grin.

“I did.” Stark dons a pair of designer shades with his free hand adding, “Fury disagrees, but I’ll win him over eventually.”


3. Toshiko Sato

She breaks into the Avengers secure communications mid-battle to inform Hawkeye that he’s rewiring the device wrong. The device which if rewired wrong will blow up Manhattan.

“I said you should have let me handle the tech!” says Tony.

“We need you in the air,” Steve insists.

Tony knows that the Captain’s right, but on days like today he’s needed on the ground as well.

“What about you?” he says, executing a ninety-degree turn in mid-air to avoid something big and ugly. “What did you say your name was again?”

“Toshiko Sato. Now, the red wire on the left,” she says, continuing giving directions to Clint.

“Toshiko Sato,” he repeats, getting JARVIS to bring up her details as he takes out a few small and uglies heading for Natasha. “Hey, Asian and female, that’d shut up the people complaining about the lack of minorities on the team. How would you like to join the Avengers?”

“I’m bisexual too,” she informs him frostily.

“Aren’t we all?”

“Female is not a minority,” says Natasha, scarily calm and, well, just plain scary as ever.

“Focus, people!” says Steve.

“Look, we can use a mind as bright and as fast as yours out here,” Tony cajoles, firing all repulsers. “Front lines. I’ll build you a suit. Doesn’t everyone wish that I’d build them a suit?”

“You build it,” she tells him, “and I’ll improve it.”


Interlude

“Sir,” says Agent Sitwell, “Stark’s stealing from R&D again.”

“So I heard,” says Fury dryly.

“Sir, he’s building her a suit. Sato.”

“Well tell her to let us take a look at it.”

“Um, she said she’s making improvements to it, sir. Private ones.”

Fury fixes his eye on Sitwell and gives the Agent his best This Is Serious Look.

“Agent, the US government has all our requests to examine the War Machine armour tied up in red tape for generations to come and Stark won’t let us anywhere near the Iron Man. Whatever scraps of information you can get, get it.”

“She’s already off our employee list and on the one for Stark Industries. She’s signed their confidentiality agreements. And, well, she says she doesn’t trust a group that places itself outside the government and beyond the police with that kind of technology, sir.”

Fury sighs.

That’s a ‘no’, isn’t it?”

“From her and Stark, Sir. Sorry, Sir.”


4. Wesley Wyndam-Price

“I told you it needed a stake,” the new guy complains as the vampire he pushed back with a repulser blast rises to its feet.

“You do not stick a piece of wood in a multibillion dollar, high tech, Stark-made Suit!”

Clint doesn’t think he’s ever heard Tony sounding that livid over the comms before and that’s including the time that a (sort of) EMP blast managed to knock his suit offline.

“Rip off a door or something,” says Steve.

“Doors aren’t all made of wood these days,” Natasha informs him, snatching what must be a wooden umbrella off a man running past, because when she slams it pointy tip first into a vampire it explodes into dust.

“I feel like I’m doing all the work today,” Clint says as he shoots three more, choosing not to mention that R&D have had on and off discussions about removing the wooden arrows from his quiver selection and just how grateful he is that they haven’t.

“I’m just saying,” Wesley mutters mutinously, “sometimes you just really need a pointy piece of wood, you know?”


5. River Song

Iron Man reaches the ground seconds after the other suit crashes. Tony raises his faceplate and strips his gauntlets, tossing them to one side, so that he can work on removing the faceplate of the newcomer, who worryingly isn’t moving at all.

“What the hell?” Clint demands over the comms. “Who was that?”

“The person who just blew up the enemy creeping up on you that you didn’t notice?” snaps Natasha.

“I can’t have an off day?” the archer mutters.

“Secure the site and cut the chatter,” Steve orders before placing his shield next to Tony’s gauntlets and crouching down next to him, asking if he can help.

“With what?” says Tony, sounding a little hysterical. “This is really not your area of expertise, Captain.”

“And this obviously isn’t theirs,” Steve chides him gently. “You can’t just invite anyone to come and fight with us. It really isn’t a party.”

“I know that! You think I don’t know that?” Tony twists something, shoves his fingers under the edge of the blue suit’s faceplate, and prises it off. “Trust me, crazy is her area of expertise, but I didn’t invite her,” he says, “and definitely not in a prototype suit.”

“Her?” Steve leans forward, but there’s nothing underneath the faceplate. There’s no one inside at all.

“JARVIS?” Tony demands and Steve hears the AI respond from inside the empty suit.

“The Professor has been backed up as per the suit protocols, sir, and she should be online again in 5 seconds.”

Tony breathes a sigh of relief and sits back on his heels.

“Er, her who?” asks Steve. “The suit’s empty. Is it run by another AI? Like JARVIS?”

“What?” Tony shoots him a strange look. “No.”

“Artificial Intelligence?” says a woman’s voice from the suit. “Sweetheart, I’m the real deal. Just currently disembodied.”

“River.” Tony retrieves his gauntlets, gives the blue suit a hand up, and passes it its faceplate. “Thanks for the assist, but I told you the suit wasn’t ready.”

“And if you’d gotten yourself killed it never would be ready, now would it?”

Steve watches in bemusement as the suit fastens its faceplate back on. He’s seen Tony’s robots and lived at the Tower long enough to be used to JARVIS, but an Iron Man suit walking and talking without anyone inside it is definitely new.

“Your faith in me is overwhelming,” Tony drawls.

“Right,” says Steve, rising to his feet and attempting to get a grip on the situation; first things first. “Ma’am, are you okay?”

The blue suit – River – pats his butt as she says, “I always am.”

Steve closes his eyes.

“Tony, is the suit flirting with me?”

“Gosh, he’s slow isn’t he?” says River.

Tony winks at her as he picks up his own faceplate and replies, “Tell me about it.”

It’s still not the weirdest day Steve’s ever had.


(And One He Did)



James Rhodes

“You’re not having it back, Tony,” says Rhodes when he hears the ominous little click from his headset that means his friend has once again hacked into what is meant to be a secure military communications system.

“After it’s been dirtied by Hammer tech? Please. I wouldn’t defile my workshop with that. I’m calling about your suit. Hey, are you working on something in Syria by any chance?”

“No,” Rhodes says cautiously. “Tony, are you in Syria?”

“No, no, absolutely not, wouldn’t dream of it.”

“Alright.” He frowns a little and tries not to sigh. “You said you were calling about my suit though. I definitely heard you say that.”

Your suit. I do believe I said that, yes.”

“Tony.” He pinches the bridge of his nose with his free hand, the other remaining steady on the controls in front of him. “I’m in the middle of something here.”

“Bitch, bitch, bitch. I am trying to be nice. You understand the concept?”

Three of the alert signs in the top right-hand corner of his computer screen change from amber to red.

“Tony.”

“Rhodey,” he drags the name out childishly, then takes a breath. “Friends don’t let friends risk their lives in out-dated gear, okay, let alone out-dated gear that was never designed for them. I mean you wish you had my figure and that military posture of yours has got to be messing with the shoulder arching. So, you got a colour scheme in mind?”

Rhodes keys in a few commands and two of alert signs on his screen fade back to amber. The third goes all the way back to green and he grins.

“Right. What are you on about?”

“For your suit. Are you sure you’re smart enough to be in the military, because I’m getting vibes of stupidity here. Lots of vibes. A multitude even.”

“Wait, are you building me a new suit?”

“Ding, ding, ding! Give the man a prize!”

Rhodes rolls his eyes as Tony continues rambling.

“I haven’t got all day. Very busy man and all that jazz. Colour scheme?”

“Yeah. Yeah, actually I have.”

“And you’ll need to come to a fitting, Sour Puss. Think you can handle that?”

Operation Completed flashes up, covering the row of alert signs, and Rhodes laughs.

“I’ll bring pizza.”
 
 
feeling: sillysilly
 
 
 
Kadollan: TonyCapkadollan on August 25th, 2012 11:23 pm (UTC)
Brilliant!
I particularly loved Colin (poor Colin. ::sigh::) This was great. Cross-fandom romps are the best romps.

(Also, it took me half way through to realize WHICH River that was. Even the "“Trust me, crazy is her area of expertise" wasn't enough to tip me off. Maybe there's just something about women named River...)

Edited at 2012-08-25 11:23 pm (UTC)
inkvoices: F:river morbidandcreepyinkvoices on August 27th, 2012 07:52 pm (UTC)
Re: Brilliant!
If Colin had been able to grow up he would have such a fantastic bridge between the Muggle and Wizarding worlds, a guy who really loves the Wizarding World but, if the camera is anything to go by, never left behind his roots like a of Muggleborns appear to, rather adapts his old knowledge to the new. I have a lot of feels about Colin :)

I love playing with crossovers. Glad you enjoyed this one!

Heh, yeah, note to self: never name a kid River!
Kadollan: HP Invitationkadollan on August 28th, 2012 12:00 am (UTC)
Re: Brilliant!
If Colin had been able to grow up he would have such a fantastic bridge between the Muggle and Wizarding worlds, a guy who really loves the Wizarding World but, if the camera is anything to go by, never left behind his roots like a of Muggleborns appear to, rather adapts his old knowledge to the new. I have a lot of feels about Colin :)

RIGHT? It seems like Dennis could kind of pick up that mantle though - like he doesn't know what to do with himself after the war, and maybe he even leaves the wizarding world completely for a while until he realizes, "Shit, my brother died so that I could live as a wizard. What the hell am I doing?" So he goes back, and realizes that things aren't really that much better than they were before the war started. He decides to change that - he finds Hermione and enlists her help and they form societies and hand out leaflets and organize "Million Mudblood Marches" (they've decided that the only way to destigmatize the name is to reclaim it...there's a lot of controversy about that) and mostly they just really get on a lot of people's nerves. But in the end things do start to change, and by the time Dennis' kids go to Hogwarts they're learning that people used to discriminate against the muggle-born but it is really just history to them because they don't see it in their own lives.


inkvoices: hp:hermione black and whiteinkvoices on August 28th, 2012 12:33 am (UTC)
Re: Brilliant!
I love stories that take a look at Muggle rights within the Wizaring World. You might like one of my earlier fics, Fighting To Explain From In-Between which is a Dennis story that you might find somewhat familiar in a way *grins*. One of the most recent I've read is In Loco Parentis by Dolores_Crane, which has Hermiona coming across a Hestia who opens her eyes. I think some of the characterisations are AU, but takes a good look at Muggle Civil Rights and where the hell are they in the Wizarding World. I lost most of my harry potter fic links when my old laptop died unfortunately, so can't link to my old favourites, meh. (I'm working on bookmarking on AO3 and other places online in case that kind of thing happens again!)

(Deleted comment)
inkvoices: F:wash flyboyinkvoices on August 27th, 2012 07:59 pm (UTC)
Have you seen the comic con where someone got Alan to read out Wash's obituary? I died of laughing :D

I love playing with crossovers. Glad that you enjoyed this one!
sweetwatersongsweetwatersong on August 27th, 2012 12:15 am (UTC)
I loved the wide variety of characters and fandoms you chose, but did you have to pick the ones who have tragic ends? (I don't know about Sato, as I've never watched Torchwood.) On the other hand, the wise-cracks and humor made this a wonderful read, and so did imagining the worlds where these could all exist. What I wouldn't give to see an Avengers!verse Firefly crew... although being with SHIELD kind of prohibits being pirates.

Hm.
inkvoices: F:wash take heartinkvoices on August 27th, 2012 08:03 pm (UTC)
Sorry! I picked the character that had died on purpose, because they're some of my favourites and also because I'd like to think that sometime, somewhere they get to do awesome things like fly around in Iron Man suits :) I love playing with crossovers - so many possibilites! - and I'm glad that you enjoyed the fic :D

I'm actually working on an all the Avengers are a crew in the Firefly 'verse fic, but there's no interaction with Firefly characters. No idea when that one's going to get though because it's grown into a monster. I've signed up for an avengers big bang crossover thing so hopefully a deadline will encourage me to get it done!
rthstewartrthstewart on August 29th, 2012 01:04 pm (UTC)
This was so much fun. I especially enjoyed Tony and Colin's mutual frustration. River pats Steve's butt! Of course she does, you saucy minx. You captured her voice wonderfully. And of course, Natasha grabs a wooden umbrella to stake vamps. That's a great character moment for her.

And finally, every time I see him being all humorously self-deprecating in fic, it brings tears to my eyes: “There were no ticky boxes for ‘axe murderer’ or ‘clown’ on my intake form,” Wash tells him. “It’s definitely an oversight.”

so much fun!
inkvoices: F:wash flyboyinkvoices on August 29th, 2012 06:36 pm (UTC)
Glad that you enjoyed it! :D I've read a few fics where Tony says that he hates magic or gets caught out by magic, and I think that he'd do something about that :) And, oh Steve, you think you were confused by fondue? Meet River *grins*. I think Natasha can and does turn everything and anything into a weapon. (And maybe in my head I have thing about umbrella's being dangerous now because of Mycroft in Moffat's Sherlock, heh.) And Wash. This fic started because of the 15 character meme - list fifteen characters, don't tell anyone who they are, get people to pick a few numbers to meet - where Wash and Tony got together. Since I started with Wash I started thinking of all the other characters who died and how great it would be if somewhere they're off doing things like flying Iron Man suits. But that always starts with Wash, because WASH :'(

Edited at 2012-08-29 06:36 pm (UTC)
rthstewartrthstewart on August 29th, 2012 06:38 pm (UTC)
Wash isn't' dead. What are you talking about. Geez. He's not dead to you hear me. NOT DEAD. LA LA LA LA
inkvoices: F:wash fangirlsinkvoices on August 29th, 2012 06:48 pm (UTC)
Of course not! He read out his own obituary and mocked it! (That comic con moment was hilarious)